Lives in Literature
by Lord Cullen
Summary: It all starts out as a normal, sleepless night for vampire Edward Cullen - that is, until he finds a page dedicated to fanfiction about him and Bella! Chaos ensues, and Edward finds that his life may not be as simple as he once thought it was...
1. Fanfiction & Angry Bloggers

**Hey. I just wrote this when I was bored, and I suppose I'll continue once I get… hmmm… maybe, 5 reviews. Okay with you?**

**Disclaimer: Much to my sorrow, I don't own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse… not even Edward Cullen. Wish I did, though.**

The sky was as dark as pitch, and studded with bright silver stars like brooches on rich black velvet. The large window that served as the wall of my bedroom turned in to a mirror at night, reflecting the image of myself, copper hair slightly ruffled, lying on the big golden leather couch in the corner of my bedroom. I raised a hand to touch the glass, amusing myself by watching another me, the Edward Cullen in the window, lift his hand as well to touch mine. But where our fingers should have touched, I felt only cold, smooth glass.

Bored, I sat up. I could hear the sound of Carlisle flipping the pages of a book in his office, and of Emmett wrestling Jasper. Alice was doing her short black hair in the bathroom by her bedroom, humming to herself, while gorgeous Rosalie was talking with kind, gentle Esme about something like house prices. I wandered over to the gleaming white laptop sitting innocently on my desk. I had only used it once before, when Carlisle had given it to me as a birthday gift. I had halfheartedly opened something called 'Microsoft Word,' and then I had written, 'Would you please bring Bella here?' Carlisle had told me that computers were very intelligent, and would do whatever you wanted. But, to my disappointment, Bella didn't appear in a puff of smoke. I had quickly closed the window, closed the computer, and pretended that I hadn't done anything, because cheerful, bear-like Emmett would get a kick out of this for weeks.

And now, here I was, approaching it suspiciously. It twinkled in the bleak light from my old-fashioned desk lamp. I grunted, and reached to switch the lamp off, ignoring the pain as the hot metal burnt my fingers. Then, cautiously, I reached for the laptop.

The surface was smooth, and slightly warm after spending a few months under the light of the lamp. It seemed harmless enough, so, wary, I opened it. There was a hollow clicking noise, and then a soft 'briiiiiiiing' sound. I started, surprised, and then turned back to the computer screen. It was a soft, pale blue, with a little bar across that was half gray, half white. The words 'loading… please wait' flashed across the screen in big, bold letters. Then there was another clicking noise, and the screen changed from blue to white. I stared, fascinated, as a half-transparent bar popped up on the side, with small circles and squares on it. Peering closer, I recognized the symbol for Microsoft Word. Tentatively, I moved the cursor until it was hovering over a picture of the world and a reddish dog of some sort. A label appeared, saying 'Firefox.' I clicked, unsure.

A window popped up, with the word 'Yahoo!' written across it in uneven red letters. I frowned. Was this supposed to happen? What was this 'Yahoo!' thing, anyway? And what was it doing on my laptop? Shrugging, I scanned the website. There was a silvery line across the top of the screen, with a bar that said '' in it, and a smaller one that showed a picture of a magnifying glass and the word 'Google.' I clicked in the 'Google' box, and was surprised to see the word disappear. A slender, pulsing line appeared in its place, and the box was suddenly outlined in blue.

I tried typing. Smiling to myself, I wrote, 'Edward Cullen,' and then looked around for something to press to send it. There was nothing. I pressed random keys; A, then K, J, and L, and then even 5. Curious now, I typed in ';83m/.' Then I tried one labeled, 'return.' In smaller letters it was written, 'enter.' I deleted my previous text besides the words 'Edward Cullen,' and then clicked it.

I nearly jumped out of my seat in surprise. A new window opened, with the words, 'Edward Cullen (Twilight) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.' I stared at the slanted blue letters, dumbfounded. How did they know about me? Did they track me down? I scanned the words below the link. It read, 'Edward Cullen (born Edward Anthony Masen) is a character in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. He is currently featured in the books Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse…'

_What? _I clicked on the link doubtfully. _Maybe it's a different Edward Cullen,_ I thought dubiously – but hopefully. I still wasn't willing to believe that somebody has been stalking me all these years. _Edward Cullen isn't a very common name,_ my mind snapped back. I grunted in response and waited impatiently for the page to load. When it eventually finished, I read through it eagerly. It was white and academic looking, with a picture of some strange person with… well, it looked like an actor, trying to be me. His eyes were too bright a shade of gold, and too large, while his hair kind of shaded his eyes and gave him a lopsided look. To my horror, the paragraph seemed to be about me. It revealed that I was a 'vegetarian' vampire, that I could read minds, that I was engaged to be married to Isabella Swan… I let my head fall in to my hands.

Who could have been following me? I would have sensed the presence of their mind. Unless it was Bella! I refused the idea. Bella wouldn't tell these people my private matters. I pressed the back button and glanced through the other links. One was called 'Numb From the Pain – a Twilight Fanfic, from .' I clicked on it, my mind working slowly through the fog of horror. I read the first page – and repressed a scream.

'It was just like any other time. Edward and I were leaving to go to the Cullens' house, all because Alice was making us come. Sometimes, Alice gets, well, more than sometimes, really, really overexcited about something, and then there is no stopping her. Like right now, for example. The occasion? Alice decided that we should have a party celebrating me being in Forks for two whole years, which wasn't that long to me, or even a vampire, for that matter.

"Ready, Bella?" Edward asked me with his velvety voice, kissing my forehead as I nodded, forgetting what he had just asked. I had told Charlie about this, and since he knew Alice was going to try to persuade him to come, he made plans to go fishing with some of his friends from the station.

Edward raced outside, with me firmly clamped to him. If he had been human, he might have choked. I had learned to close my eyes, as I didn't want to become nauseous. It seemed like mere seconds when Edward told me that we were here, and that I could safely open my eyes. Knowing Edward, it probably _had_ been only a few seconds.

Alice's excitement clearly showed, with streamers hanging down from every possible space on the ceiling. Wow. Alice had _really_ overdone it this time. Just as I felt my cheeks starting to get red, Edward picked me up and carried me to their living room, gently setting me down on the couch. Then the realization hit me. This wasn't just a party for me, but more like a celebration for Edward and me. For going to get married. For me to become an official member of their family. "Come here, Bella!" Alice said, with almost too much excitement in her voice, which probably meant a present, most likely a new car. I groaned inside, but stood up and walked a little to quickly, tripping on the floor lamp, and falling right into the glass coffee table.

Pain shot through me, and there wasn't a molecule inside me that didn't hurt. I saw Edward's shocked face, his deep onyx eyes making me truly and utterly afraid. He was no longer my Edward, but a bloodthirsty creature, a tortured soul who thirsted for my blood, and my blood alone. "Alice! Jasper! Anyone! _Help me!"_ I screamed, as Edward crouched and stepped forward to kill me.'

I read it again, still in shock. Then I re-read it a second time. Why would I – I forced myself to think the word – _kill _Bella? The reason for my existence? The love of my life? I can control myself better than that! I glanced at the author. Nocturnal-nightmare. Hmmm… strange name. But what I was really thinking about was the story Nocturnal-nightmare had written. _Kill Bella? _Never! I would rather kill myself! _But imagine what would happen if you lost control some day, _a small part of me whispered. I shook it off angrily. "I would never – and never will – hurt Bella. I promise," I vowed to myself.

As I was thinking, I had clicked the tiny purple words 'Twilight Fanfic.' I scanned the page as I tried – admittedly unsuccessfully – to scroll down. They had strange names like 'Fangs, Wings, and Everything in Between,' 'In the Heart,' and 'Second Sunlight.' And, I noticed, some vampire named Edward was mentioned in almost all of them. My description seemed to be pretty accurate – copper hair, 'vegetarian,' and, of course, deeply in love with Bella. I was intrigued, and more than slightly angry. Who had given all of my information to this person? Who had stalked me all these years?

I read another story, and winced. Many of them seemed to be of Bella's life after I had left – and not returned. If I was human, my eyes would be bright with tears – but then again, I'm not human, so that's that.

I read a few more stories, carefully avoiding the ones labeled 'Edward Gives in,' or 'Feminine Wiles.' I shuddered. Ugh. One, 'Free Falling,' seemed centered on Bella falling in love with Jacob – that _dog_ – and eventually bearing him a child. I ground my teeth and clicked the button of my mouse with more force than necessary. Let's see… more about Jacob imprinting on Bella, a few on Bella and me, er… 'losing our virginity,' four, no, wait, _seven _stories in a row about our wedding, one on Bella committing suicide… I gasped. What? I know she jumped off a cliff, but she didn't _commit suicide! _Frantic, I clicked on the story entitled 'I Can't Stand It Any More.'

'Edward left me a few months ago, and the hole has kept throbbing, keeping pace with my heart. I managed to stop thinking about him early on, but I still dream. Most days, I wake up wild-eyed and screaming, drenched in sweat. In my sleep, he leaves me over and over and over again.

Jacob helps the pain, like a drug. No, not like a drug – more like the sun, the wind. I drink him in eagerly, letting him soothe me like an animal tamer would tame an animal, and then, when I return to my little home with Charlie, the pain is ten times worse.

And now, I can't stand it any more.

I remember the cliff I jumped off of. I remember the wild, free exhilaration of it, the sensation of complete and utter recklessness and adrenaline. I recall the feel of the wind whipping my hair back as I fall, of the icy water lapping at my bare skin. The memories are fading now. The pain is making them subside, like the tide.

The next thing I know, I'm standing on the cliff at La Push. I look down, and the blue-gray waves are heaving and lurching, splashing against the shore. I look up, and the sky is just as unfriendly, gray and cold and distant. Big walls of black cloud line up, guarded by smaller soldiers of fleecy cotton wool in the sky. I look back at the small hut of Jacob and Billy's, thinking of all the happy memories. They're leaving, too, just like those of the cliff diving.

Then I remember the task at hand as the cold wind whips against my bare skin. Squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I face out towards the sea. The brisk wind seems to beckon me, and I murmur, "Edward, I've always loved you. Always." Then I jumped, the'

I stopped reading abruptly. I couldn't read anymore, I couldn't think about what I've done to Bella. Bella deserves somebody better.

Just as I was really getting in to my wallowing in pity for Bella, I heard a soft knock on the honey colored wood of my door. I looked up, tasting the thoughts. _And that new skirt I just got will be perfect for Bella, and when – _I tuned out. I knew who it was – Alice. I murmured softly, still a trifle depressed, "Come in, Alice. Come in."

The door opened quietly, and Alice danced through gracefully, beaming beatifically. "Hey, Edward!" she trilled, golden eyes twinkling. I dipped my head, not in the mood for fun and games.

"Hello," I muttered. Alice moved to my side, glancing curiously at my computer screen.

"What are you so sad about?" she asked, her high, bell-like voice concerned. I caught my breath, quickly closing my computer so that she wouldn't see.

"Nothing, Alice." She had walked over behind me with her lithe dancer's step and was examining a sheet of crumpled paper lying on my desk. "What are you looking at?" Alice glanced up.

"Your music. Are you going to show this to Esme?" She finished reading through it and grinned at me. "It's not a bad piece, brother." I snorted.

"Thanks. That means a lot to me," I told her sarcastically. "And yes, I am going to show this Esme – it's going to be her birthday gift, in fact." I itched to open my computer again, to see how much these people actually knew about me. Alice noticed my hands twitching towards my laptop and, laying the sheet of music carefully back on my desk, reassured me,

"You can go back to doing whatever you were doing. I won't look." I shifted uncomfortably, trying to look at my computer.

"Thanks, Alice, but I'd still rather you weren't here," I confessed. Alice shot me a sidelong glance.

"Okay, sure. I just thought you might want a little company." With that, she drifted out of the room, humming the music I had composed to herself. Shrugging, I opened my computer. It was still open to the page about Bella… killing herself, so I quickly pressed the back button. Then again, back to the 'Google search page.'

I scrolled down. And stared. One headline declared, 'Edward Cullen is so hot!' What? A little scared, I clicked on the link. A window popped up, adorned with photos of a black book with white hands carrying an apple. The title was 'Where's my Edward?' I shuddered, and looked closer at the book shown. Twilight.

It rang a bell. Ah, yes – the 'Wikipedia' entry had mentioned that I was featured in Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse, and much of the 'fanfiction' said things like 'Post-Eclipse' and 'When Edward left in New Moon…' Oh! So Edward was just a character in a book! Not me. The relief was instantaneous. So Bella wasn't telling strangers about my private life!

I clicked on the photo of Twilight, rather amused at myself for being so silly, and read the summary.

'When her mother gets remarried, Bella moves in with her father, Charlie, who lives in a small town on Washington's Olympic Peninsula, where it rains nearly all the time. There she meets Edward, a strange and gorgeous boy from a strange and gorgeous family, and soon she has fallen madly in love with him.

She also discovers that he and his family are vampires, and this bothers her not at all. It bothers Edward, though; even though they had long ago sworn off human blood in favor of animal predators, he still worries for her safety, both with him and with his family, who control their lust for human blood only by willpower.'

I froze. So it wasn't just a book! It really was about me! I leaned back in my chair, cutting off my breathing instinctively (I'm usually only this excited when I scent a particularly delicious human). I tried to think rationally. Okay… so I'm a character in a book. Well, maybe everybody I know is also a character, I reasoned. I deleted the words 'Edward Cullen' and carefully typed in 'Bella Swan.' Then I clicked return.

The whole page was full of little blue headlines declaring things like 'If Edward won't marry Bella Swan, I will,' 'I wish I could trade places with Bella Swan,' and 'My friend is obsessed with Edward, and keeps calling herself Bella Swan.' My eyes bulged as I read them. I clicked tentatively on one. It was something called a blog. It was entitled, 'Who should Edward Cullen belong to?' Below were many comments that basically all said, 'to me!' I shuddered, and carefully posted, 'Edward belongs to Bella Swan.'

Immediately, another comment appeared, screaming, 'No u r wrong! Edward belongs to me u got a prob. with that?' I hastily typed back, 'Me? No, no! I have no problem at all. Just come and get me.' There was a pause, and then the blogger wrote, 'U? wat do u mean, u?' I backpedaled furiously. 'Oh, I meant Edward Cullen, of course.' Then I left the site, not eager to converse anymore with the furious text-talking blogger.

I clicked the back button several times, desperate to escape the Edward Cullen Google searches. I arrived on the original 'fanfiction' page, the home, you could say. I was about to close the window when I heard a knock on the door. I tested for minds. I could feel nothing, which, in its way, was as good as feeling something. It was Bella. I left my laptop lying open and seemingly innocent on my neat desk and I ran down to greet her.

And there she was, framed in the damp doorway. It was pouring outside, rain trickling from every gutter and drainpipe – this was quite normal weather for rainy Forks – and so she was quite wet. Her glossy hair was made darker by the rain, and was sticking uncomfortably to her clothing. I smiled at my personal angel. She looked up and grinned. "Hey, Edward!" she sang, throwing herself in to my ready arms. My shirt was now dripping from the impact, but I didn't care. I tightened my grip around her frail figure.

"Hello, love," I murmured, cupping my fingers around her chin to tilt her face up so that I could brush my lips swiftly to hers. I saw her eyes widen, heard her heartbeat quicken, and felt her lips curve in to a smile beneath mine. I laughed. "The rain makes you smell very good, Bella," I observed, pressing my face in to her dripping hair. She snorted, and replied dryly,

"Thanks." She straightened, and I loosened my grip around her slightly. She looked around, smile lingering. I nodded.

"Nothing to do here, eh?" Bella looked up at me and smiled innocently.

"As long as you're here, I'm fine," she laughed, pressing her forehead against my chest and wrapping her arms around my waist. I groaned and frowned, inhaling her mouthwatering scent. She smelled so impossibly good! To distract myself from my thirst, I prompted,

"Come _on._ What do you want to do? And why are you here at…" I checked my watch. "Half past two in the morning?" Bella shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep. And I thought you might be bored." I let go of her, and started walking up the polished mahogany stairway, with Bella following me, teeth chattering. I suddenly remembered that she was soaking. I called over my shoulder, "Go to my room. I'm going to get you a towel." I could hear her protests behind me, but not for long, as I was soon in the gleaming, black and white tiled bathroom. None of us ever used it, but we kept it for pretense. Besides, it was useful to store things in, and Alice and Rosalie could entertain themselves for hours in here. Right now, the only proof that they were ever in here was the bottle – that was about the size of my head – of pale pink glittering gel. I avoided it carefully; it never paid to venture to near to one of my 'foster sister's' products when they were not around.

I walked over to the cupboard, pulling out the fluffiest towel I could find. Then, holding it gingerly in front of me – towels always seemed to smell bad, for some obscure reason – I strode back to my room, ready for Bella. She wasn't standing in the doorframe, waiting for me, like I expected her to.

And then I remembered. My computer was still open to the fanfiction site! I sprinted to my laptop, dropping the clean white towel in a heap on the floor in my haste.

I was too late. Bella was kneeling in front of my computer, looking completely bewildered, and a little angry. When I entered the room, a pale blur, she looked up from the screen. "What's this?" she whispered. I bit my lip.

"Nothing, Bella." Bella met my eyes. Her deep brown ones were full of betrayal. I looked down quickly.

"You told them all this?" she breathed, glancing back at the computer screen. I grimaced, swiftly forcing her arm down and closing the laptop.

"No. I was wondering if you had told them." She stared, wide-eyed, up at me. "I didn't want to break it to you this suddenly, but it seems you've already found it, so…" I took a deep breath. "We're characters in a book, Bella. All of us. You, me, Carlisle, Esme… even Mr. Banner. Everyone you know, love. _Everyone."_

**Ooooh… suspense…**

**Now, c'mon. Review! You know you want to.**

**- Lord Cullen**


	2. Demure Murmuring & Philosophy

Thanks for the reviews, Username, Username, Username, Username, and Username

**Thanks for the reviews, Substitute Shinigami (yes, you got the first review – yayness), Vampirechicka94 (I'm continuing, as you can see), Petites Sorcieres (that would definitely**__**be freaky), Queenofallturtles (I hope it **_**is**_** cool), The Real Mrz. Black, (thanks), WriterPoet (sorry for the awkwardness), and, of course, SofiaCastano (yes, good job, I'm so proud of you)! And now, we will progress to Chapter 2… but there's a disclaimer first, of course.**

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, some people's disclaimers rhyme, and mine doesn't. And I also don't own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, etc… I leave all that for the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. Wish I didn't have to, though. :D**

Bella burst out laughing, an unbelieving, unwilling-to-be-fooled laugh. "Very funny, Edward." I said nothing. Slowly, she took in my grave expression, and she froze. "It's true?" she whispered, glancing at the closed computer and then back at me. I nodded. Bella swallowed noisily, and then, avoiding my gaze, she muttered, desperate to prove it wasn't true, "Is there evidence?" I nodded again. Bella finally met my gaze, and her eyes were bright and confused – reluctant to believe the truth.

I gently took the laptop away from her, and opened it. It was still open to the fanfiction page, but that wasn't proof. I clicked the back button until I arrived at the google page, and then clicked on the summary. I offered her the computer. "Here, Bella." She met my eyes, and then took the gleaming computer tentatively. I continued, "It may not be true. Maybe it's just a coincidence."

I watched as Bella read through the summary, her wet glossy hair soaking through her soft turquoise sweater. Her eyes widened, and when she finished reading, she asked quietly, "Did Emmett set this up?" I shook my head.

"He wouldn't do this sort of thing. I'm sorry, Bella." Bella forced a smile.

"It might just be a coincidence, as you said." I stroked her warm cheek soothingly with my thumb, and frowned.

"I don't think so. Take a look at this." I took the computer back from her pale, unresisting hands and stumbled along the internet until I arrived back at the blog. I presented it to her, and Bella breathed in sharply, reading 'edward is mine deal with it,' 'no hes mine not urs,' 'edward belongs 2 me n me only sry guys,' etc. She choked out,

"I guess it's not a coincidence." I rubbed her shoulders.

"Well, you know, it seems that half the population wants to trade places with you. I mean, consider yourself lucky." Bella smiled slightly.

"And the other half wants to be your fiancée," she teased halfheartedly. I appreciated her effort at a joke, and forced a strained laugh. It sounded out of place amid the awkward silence, and I stopped quickly. I looked down at Bella fondly. I was positive that any other human girl wouldn't handle this… situation half as well. Trying to make light out of the situation, I suggested,

"Would you like to check out some of the fanfiction?" Bella pulled a face. I could tell she was returning to usual self – the warm, trusting, brave usual self. The one that I knew and loved.

"I don't usually read about myself, you know," she grumbled, but allowed me to return to the fanfiction page. The black and white letters spoke of… interesting titles. Trying to make her happier, I asked,

"Would you like to choose the story, love?" Bella shrugged, reaching towards the laptop.

"Why not?" I watched her scroll down the page, eyeing the different stories with a critical eye. She scoffed at the titles.

"White Roses? Deadliest Sin?" She repressed a girlish giggle. "Look at this one, Edward." She moved the cursor until it hovered over one entitled 'Animalistic.' I read the summary. 'It's the night after Edward and Bella's wedding, and Edward has a task to fulfill… and here's a hint: it's not the turning-in-to-a-vamp part.' I sighed.

"Come on, Bella. Be realistic." She blushed crimson, and fiddled with her long, dark hair, wrapping it around her finger in embarrassment.

"A girl can dream, Edward, a girl can dream." I dipped my head in acknowledgement of this fact.

"True. But I certainly can't," I murmured wistfully, firmly prying Bella's fingers off of the lock of silky, wet hair she was playing with and curling it with _my_ finger. Bella giggled, looking away from the computer screen and leaning back in to my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, and listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat as her soft skin warmed my chest. Slowly, I leaned forward and brushed her lips with mine. I chuckled, hearing her heartbeat speed up, and begin to leap, sometimes stopping altogether for a few seconds. Bella locked her arms around my neck, while, slowly, I pushed her away. She pouted.

"I wasn't finished," she complained sulkily. I laughed.

"Go on. Back to your duty as Official Picker-of-the-Story, love." Bella tilted her head to one side.

"Not yet." She reached for my hand. I obliged, lifting it and placing it in hers. She smiled sweetly at me. "Okay. Now I'll do my job." I frowned.

"What was that for?" Bella turned back to me.

"I can't do my job without you at my side," she explained. I scoffed. With a last smug grin, she began scrolling down the page of seemingly innocent titles. I couldn't help thinking that they were a lot less innocent once you knew they were about you… that you were a character in a glossy paperback novel that sells for, oh, I don't know, maybe 10.00 in a bookstore near you. Ugh… people had actually purchased the history of my life, without knowing I really existed, in some shadowy dream world. There were even – I shuddered at the thought – _fans. _Oh, the horror!

I wondered if that now I had figured this out, the story would include me having this very same epiphany. That would be… complicated. Who was the author? Is she/he in the same world as Bella and I live in? Maybe I could talk to her/him, and tell her/he that I'm real, that I actually exist, and that I'd appreciate it if you don't share my biography with the world.

I sighed. That would never work.

Instead of obliging, the author would sell me as a wonder, a book character come true. I would travel in freak shows, and soon Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper – even Charlie, Renée, and Phil – would join me. I grimaced as this passed through the clanking, whirring gears that my mind consisted of (in a metaphorical sense, of course).

Through the fog of my thoughts, I heard Bella ask softly, "Should we tell your family?" I looked up.

"In a while, sure." I felt Bella shrug.

"Okay." We spent a few minutes scanning the Twilight fanfiction page. Bella kept making faces to those that included a) her getting pregnant, b) Jacob turning her in to a werewolf, and c) Alice bringing her on a shopping trip. Most of them, I noticed, declared that the writer 'sucks at summaries. Better than it sounds.' How pathetic. If you can't write a summary, then you can't write at all, and that's that. Finally, she chose one called 'Canine Tails.' I scowled.

The summary read 'Seth imprints on Bella, who loves Seth back. So everything should be just fine and dandy, right? Wrong. Seth's a werewolf… and Bella's a vampire. My summaries are bad, but this is better than it seems. Really. Oh, and Edward doesn't exist.' I stared at Bella. "Er… interesting choice, love." Bella smiled up at me, brown eyes twinkling.

"Oh, I don't know. Could be interesting." I grunted.

"But a werewolf…" I trailed away in disgust.

"Jealous that you're not in it?" she teased lightly. I shook my head.

"No. Not at all. In fact, it would be better if I wasn't there to harm you, but the fact that you're already a vampire…" I shuddered, tangling my fingers through her soft hair. She beamed.

"Good. I feel loved now." I snorted.

"You didn't?" Bella shook her head, mock-frowning and widening her eyes in sorrow.

"No. How could I? You make me stop kissing you too soon." I groaned and pushed her away gently.

"Aw, not this again," I griped, turning Bella's head gently back towards the computer. "Go on. Read!" She sighed, but obliged. I read along with her out loud.

'He was brave, handsome, kind. Perfect. The other half of me.

He met me at the door as I left school, smiling. As I flung myself in to his strong, warm arms, he muttered, "Why are you so adorable, but you smell so bad?" I grinned.

"It's a matter of opinion, Seth," I murmured demurely. He shook his head in exasperation, opening his mouth to speak. And that was when I saw it. Emmett, a bear-like vampire, was staring at me. I froze.'

I chuckled to myself. Bella in the story was so different from Bella in real life – if this _was _real life. Bella? 'Murmuring demurely'? Yeah, right. I turned to Bella and asked her wryly, "Do you do a lot of demure murmuring?" Bella blushed – again.

"Not that I know of," she muttered, ducking her face in to my shoulder to hide her embarrassment. I continued to read.

'Emmett breathed in sharply, and then ran off, not bothering to hide his vampire running skills. Several of my classmates stared after him, amazed by his speed. Seth looked up. "Oh. The bloodsucker's noticed us," he hissed, eyes narrowing, and then turned me away. When I next looked, all I could see was a sand colored wolf the size of a horse tearing after the vampire, growling menacingly.' I stopped reading again. "This is complete and utter rubbish," I complained. Bella looked up.

"I know it's bad, but rubbish? Isn't that a little much?" I shook my head.

"No self-respecting werewolf would change shape in the middle of a school – with hundreds of students watching – just to go running after a vampire. Especially not Seth; he's always been rather levelheaded and sensible. And Emmett wouldn't run, either! I know my brother, and although he's a… little bit immature, he's not _that _dim. And anyway, the whole plot's flawed, because if Seth was going to imprint, he would have done so by now, and he just wouldn't fall in love with a vampire," I ranted. "It just wouldn't happen. We're mortal enemies!" Bella smirked.

"I think you're jealous," she giggled. I subsided a little.

"Maybe," I murmured, rubbing Bella's shoulders. "Let's stop reading this nonsense and tell my family. Bella nodded.

"Yep. They have a right to know."

"But," I countered, "you shouldn't tell your classmates, your friends… not even Charlie or Renée. They would tell others, and soon, the whole world would be panicking." Bella snorted.

"Although I may be immature, I'm not _that _dim," she quoted wryly. I grinned.

"Glad to hear it. Let's go, then." Without waiting to hear her response, I scooped her up in to my arms and strode out of the open door to my room, not bothering to shut my laptop.

Bella's flustered complaints about being carried 'like a child,' as she put it, were ignored as I walked to Carlisle's room. Setting her gently down on her feet, I asked her, "Do you think we should tell Carlisle first? He might not want us to tell the rest of my family." Bella shrugged.

"But Alice will know, eventually. And Jasper can probably feel our confusion." I nodded, watching the grave expression flit across her pale – for a human – face.

"But Carlisle can keep it covered for a little while longer, if he wishes to," I explained grimly. "He can control his emotions well, and he can keep Alice busy watching the Volturi, your room, etc. so that she can't see our… future." Bella digested the information.

"Okay," was her oh-so-brilliant response. I smiled.

"Just wait a moment – I want to see how he's feeling right now." With my mind, I slipped through the door, and then in to Carlisle's thoughts. They seemed to consist of _… I hope Mr. Lee will be all right. That was a nasty car accident he was in, and now that he's broken four ribs, his left shoulder, and received bad bruising and cuts along his left side, he might have to use that new medicine, that bad-smelling purple stuff, what's-it-called, er… _I tuned out, and turned to Bella. "It seems like he's in a pensive mood," I informed her. I heard Carlisle think, _Edward! I can hear you talking, you know. _I grimaced. "I know, Carlisle. May we come in?" I heard him say out loud, probably for Bella's benefit, "Yes, please do." Bella took my hand firmly.

"Let's go," she said, and pushed the door open slowly. There was no creak, as there had used to be, I noted with satisfaction. I had oiled the hinges only the other day.

The other day… I thought. It feels so far away, now.

Carlisle looked up from the paperwork he was scribbling on, golden hair glinting for a moment in the stream of yellow light from his desk lamp. "Edward, Bella," he acknowledged. "What seems to be the problem?" Bella blurted out,

"We live in a book!" Carlisle flashed her a brilliant, albeit confused, smile.

"Yes…" he soothed. "Whatever you say." He turned to me. "What's happened, Edward?" I glanced at Bella.

"No, it's true. We all live in a novel entitled Twilight." Carlisle sighed, and steepled his fingers contemplatively.

"Is this a sudden philosophical realization, or are you being literal?" he asked calmly. Yeah, right. As if I'd start wondering about the meaning of life when I've just discovered my life is being read about by people in a different world… and the book's quite popular, too.

"I'm being literal." Carlisle arched a slender, pale eyebrow, and said finally, "Are you sure?" Bella and I both nodded at the same time. "Is there proof?" I had been prepared for this.

"Yes. Just wait a minute, will you – I'm going to get my computer." Carlisle smiled knowingly.

"Ah. So you've finally opened that old machine. You can't trust everything you find on the internet, Edward, you know." I nodded.

"But there are millions of sites supporting the evidence. And the author is called Stephenie Meyer." He leaned back, cool golden eyes contemplative.

"All right, then. See what you can find." I sprinted out the door and in to my room, snatched my computer up from the smooth, polished surface of my desk, and arrived back in front of my 'father's' relaxed gaze before the door swung shut. Of course, it might just have been a very slow door, but it wasn't.

Carlisle held out a hand. "May I see?" I nodded. He picked it up easily, and glanced down at the screen. He read aloud, "'It's a matter of opinion, Seth,' I murmured demurely. He shook his head in exasperation…" He stopped reading. "What_ is _this?"I grinned.

"Fanfiction." He breathed in sharply, and I could see him struggling to maintain his calm demeanor.

"And what is this… fanfiction?"he demanded quietly.

"Fiction about the book Twilight, written by fans who are making up what they think will happen," I explained obediently. Bella was silent, blushing. I could scent the warmth on her cheeks. He shook his head slowly.

"Is there any more proof?" he asked, not one tremor in his voice. I was impressed.

"Yes." I took the computer to him, and navigated my way back to the Google search, where the bold blue headlines still flashed sentences like 'I wish Edward was mine' and 'Edward: not Jacob!' I winced, and handed the buzzing laptop back to the blonde vampire. Carlisle scanned the page curiously, and then recoiled as if he had been slapped. I asked, "What is it?" Without speaking, he pointed to the headline,

'Edward belongs to Bella, and Carlisle belongs to me.' I chuckled. "Yeah. There's a whole site dedicated to discussing who I belong to." Carlisle turned his usually mild eyes to me, and whispered hesitantly,

"How did this _happen?"_

**Hehe… cliffhanger!**

**I'm not sure I like this part as much as the first, but still… I promised. I hope **_**you**_** liked it, though. :)**

**I'm going to start working on Chapter 3 when I've gotten 15 reviews. I know it's ambitious, but that gives me a lot of time to plan what will happen next.**

**And, speaking of reviews… review! I'll give you a cookie. No, really, I will. True, it will be un-seeable, un-tastable, un-smellable, and un-feelable (I was just going to type in 'un-hearable,' but somehow, I don't think many people hear cookies), but it'll be there, people, it'll be there. And it will taste real good, too (that is, it would if you could taste it at all). So, for the sake of those cookies… review.**

**- Lord Cullen**


	3. Rosalie's Tantrum & Rathbone's Hairstyle

**Firstly – thank you, Substitute Shinigami (okay, okay – thanks), Vampirechicka94 (why, you're welcome :D), Petites Sorcieres (prepare for some Emmett/Alice action!), Queenofallturtles (thank you), and – of course – the one and only SofiaCastano and MEBdaPenguin (I don't have anything to say to you in parenthesis… haha), because all of you nice people have reviewed twice! :) That puts you in my good books.**

**And here is the fabled Chapter 3. It took a while in coming, but it arrived in the end, so no worries! And now, for the inevitable disclaimer…**

**Disclaimer: The genius of the almighty Stephenie Meyer doesn't belong to me… yet. Muahahaha!**

I sighed. "I don't know, Carlisle. I just realized now, but I suppose it's been going on… since I was born? Actually, since you were born, maybe, since you're the eldest in the books, I believe?" Carlisle shook his head slowly, thinking about the small details rather than face the whole truth.

"No. Many of the Volturi are older than me," he countered, still a trifle dazed. I shook my head wearily.

"But that's not the point," I argued intensely, leaning forward on to the polished mahogany surface of his desk. He blinked owlishly.

"It isn't?" I sighed again. Carlisle, although he had great intellect, an expansive vocabulary, many talents, and even more medals and trophies, was sometimes mystifyingly slow.

"Yes, Carlisle," I said patiently, enunciating every word. "The point is that we live in a _book." _I wanted to swear, but I couldn't, not in front of Bella. "And we're depending on you, leader of this coven, to sort it out." Slowly, the golden-haired figure's perfect, pale face crumpled.

"Oh," he muttered. He was visibly struggling to get hold of his expressions now, but, to my relief, he had more or less recovered from his brief moment of shock. "Have you told Esme and the rest?" His tone was already calmer, less blank and confused.

"No," Bella and I replied briskly in unison. Then while she said, "Should we?", I asked politely, "Do you want us to?" Carlisle tilted his head, thinking.

"Yes," he declared decisively. "I don't know what it will do to them, but we can't keep a secret this large." I nodded in approval of his choice.

"That's what I think, too," I agreed, and then we both turned to Bella. Her mild brown eyes widened slightly as she saw us both gazing intensely at her, but she managed to stammer,

"Erm… yes, I agree." Carlisle nodded coolly, having gained full control over his emotions, and, I noticed, the relaxed mask was back in its place.

"Should we go now, do you think?" I asked, stroking Bella's hair, which was, by now, completely dry. Carlisle shrugged, looking down at the 3-inch high pile of paperwork he had been working on before we had interrupted him.

"Sure, I don't have anything better to do," he chuckled, patting the papers ruefully. I grinned, and turned to Bella.

"Bella…?" She shrugged as well.

"Okay."

We traipsed down the stairs using a relatively human pace, although Bella did have to jog slightly to keep up. Esme and Rosalie were still down there, sitting around the circular, polished kitchen table. Alice had joined them, and now the two younger vampires were chatting animatedly in low voices about something I couldn't hear – fashion, I suspected. Esme was listening intently, and voiced her thoughts occasionally in a soft voice. As we came downstairs, Alice and Rosalie glanced up and then went back to talking, but Esme stood up. "Bella," she greeted, turning to her. "Edward, Carlisle." She gave my father a swift peck on the cheek.

"Hi," Bella said, while Carlisle replied with more volume,

"Hello." He paused for effect, and then declared grandly, "I have an announcement to make!" The room fell silent. Alice and Rosalie lifted their heads immediately from their conversation, questioning looks on their faces. Carlisle continued, "Could someone… er, Edward, could you go and get Emmett and Jasper?" I gulped.

"Carlisle, they're… they're… _wrestling." _A frown flickered across his face, and then he sighed.

"Then _don't _get them, Edward. You could get hurt." I nodded gratefully. It was deadly to interrupt Emmett and Jasper when they were fighting. "Well, then, Edward, will you fetch them when they've _finished _wrestling?" I nodded again.

"All right." Then, clearing his throat, Carlisle continued,

"So, Alice, Esme, and Rosalie, Edward and Bella recently approached me with some… interesting news that we felt you should know about." They waited in expectant silence. I couldn't help thinking that no matter how prepared they were, they weren't going to be ready for this information. "We… er…" Wondering if Emmett and Jasper were finished wrestling, I tasted their thoughts quickly. Emmett was thinking _…I won! I won! I won! I won! I won…_ while Jasper was wondering _…hmmm. That twist needs some work, but it seems like a good move to remember. Emmett definitely wasn't prepared… _Ah. They had finished.

I was already halfway up the stairs before I remembered to call, "I'm going to get Emmett and Jasper." I heard my father reply,

"All right. I'll wait." I raced to their door. A sign was hung up, in Jasper's tiny, flowing handwriting. It read 'Warning: Vampires fighting inside. Enter at your own risk.' Then, in Emmett's larger, less spidery handwriting, were the words 'And Emmett's better!' I sighed. Typical.

I swung the door open slowly, wary of hissing, growling vampires. But a pair of panting, laughing, and sweating vampires met my eyes, lounging on the couch with a compatible arm around the other's shoulders. They both glanced up when I entered. "Oh, hello, Edward," greeted Jasper calmly, while Emmett bounced to his feet and crowed,

"I won!" Jasper rolled his eyes amiably.

"It's hard not to know, isn't it? I can feel the waves of triumph rolling off him," he complained mildly, brushing his hair out of his face wearily. Emmett ignored him.

"I got him! And that time I lifted him up by the neck, and then I threw him out the window…" he babbled nostalgically. "Good times, good times." I grinned.

"Not afterwards. Esme made you buy a new window." He shook his head pityingly, dark golden eyes reprimanding.

"Edward, you have no sense of fun," he scolded me disapprovingly. I laughed lightly.

"You mean I'm not as irresponsible as you are?" Emmett opened his mouth to argue, but I think Jasper kicked in. Suddenly, he sat back down and leaned back, relaxed.

"So, what's up?" he asked lazily, while Jasper watched in satisfaction as he stifled a yawn.

"Carlisle has an announcement to make downstairs," I informed him carefully. Emmett groaned.

"Carlisle and his announcements," he griped. "Can't we just wrestle? Edward! Wanna wrestle against me?" I shook my head firmly.

"No. I think this is important." Emmett sighed. Jasper was already heading towards the door.

"I'll do it," he murmured discreetly to me. I grinned. Slowly, Emmett stood up and followed me to Jasper.

"I know you're doing this, Jasper," he grumbled. Jasper smiled a tad smugly, but remained silent. Not one for talking, my brother.

Emmett sprinted down in to the kitchen, obviously impatient to get it over with. Jasper and I followed more sedately. When we entered, Carlisle looked up. Judging from the bored look on his audience's faces, he hadn't told them the news yet. Bella was fidgeting on the arm of a couch, and when she saw me, she leapt up. "Hello," I laughed. Bella grabbed hold of my tan shirtsleeve and pulled me over to the couch.

"Sit," she ordered. I did so with amusement.

"Why so bossy?" I asked, chuckling. She scowled at me unimpressively, dark hair sticking with static electricity to the soft tan leather surface of the couch. Before she had the chance to retort, Carlisle began his speech.

"So Edward and Bella have discovered something very… important," he began hesitantly. Emmett rolled his eyes and elbowed Rosalie, who shot a scornful glance in Bella's direction, whispered something in Emmett's ear, and snickered. I growled, while Bella pretended not to notice, but her blush darkened noticeably. "After some research on his computer, we have come to the conclusion that…" He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "That we exist, not only in our world, but in a… a novel." The silence deepened to an expectant pause. Yes? So what's the punch line? Carlisle didn't say anything, fidgeting awkwardly, so finally Emmett asked,

"And… that's it?" Carlisle gave a dry, awkward cough.

"Er… yes. Sorry." Jasper frowned.

"Excuse me, but I didn't really get the joke. Was it something to do with the wording of 'exist,' or are the pauses mocking something political?" he mused. Carlisle sighed.

"Edward, please explain." I stood self-consciously, aware of Rosalie's smirk.

"You know how, if you read a novel, there are characters in it?" There was a snort from Emmett.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, and Esme reprimanded,

"Be serious, Emmett." I continued,

"So, we _are _the characters for a book called _Twilight. _We live in a different… well, world, I guess." I struggled on through the mocking gazes of Esme and Rosalie, the patient expression of Jasper and Esme, and the slightly concerned look of Alice. "Everybody we've ever interacted with are in the book, too, I believe. But I think we're the main characters. You know…" I trailed off nervously. Emmett chuckled.

"You mean we're celebrities?" I smiled wanly.

"Basically." He roared with laughter.

"This is great! Who set it up?" I frowned. This kind of reaction was so typical of Emmett.

"Well… nobody," I managed. Emmett grinned.

"Cool! So –" Alice interrupted him determinedly. You've got to be quite determined to start talking while Emmett does – his voice is about twice as loud as everybody else's.

"No, Emmett. I think he's serious," she insisted. I thanked Alice silently, wishing for once that she could read my thoughts. At least someone believed me.

"Er, yes, I am," I continued thankfully. "Here… um, Jasper, would you get my computer from upstairs?" There was a nod, and then a blur of movement as he sprinted to my room. I heard a clunk, and then Jasper was thinking _…ooops. I hope Edward doesn't mind if his computer crashes after it's fallen on the floor – if it does break, I can say that it was on the floor when I found it… _I grimaced. "Remember to control your thoughts in my presence, Jasper!" I called after him, grinning. There was an acknowledging swear word from his direction.

Soon the blur reappeared, traveling downwards, and then suddenly Jasper was in front of me, scowling at me and shoving the computer in to my hands. I glanced down at it. It looked all right. Contemplatively, I turned the sleek white machine over in my hands, and then raised an eyebrow at the large, curving scratch along the side. Jasper shrugged guiltily, but I wasn't angry with him – probably because he didn't want me to be. Humph.

"Anyway," I continued, giving my brother the evil eye, despite his influences on my mood, "Just for fun, I googled myself. I found that there was an, er," I winced at the memory, but struggled on valiantly, "A lot of links to sites about me. I clicked on a few, out of curiosity…" I paused for a moment, navigating my way through my computer to 'Edward Cullen Google Search.' I held the laptop up and rotated it, so that everybody could see the screen. "… And found some pages like…" I struggled to click on the purple link and hold on to my laptop at the same time. "… This." Once I had gotten to the 'Edward Cullen is so hot' page, I held up my computer again, carefully avoiding looking at the site, in case I vomited out of sheer horror. Emmett's amused expression was fading fast, while Alice was listening intently, a serious look on her tiny, pale face. Jasper glanced up.

"I can't see," he complained quietly. I sighed, and brought it closer to my audience. There was a sharp intake of breath from Esme, while Emmett's smile reappeared with a bit of effort.

"Been flirting, Edward?" he joked halfheartedly. I ignored him.

"And there are more," I muttered, clicking my way towards the fanfiction page, which I was beginning to respect. Everybody took it as proof. "Look." I held up my computer yet again, aware of Esme's disapproving looks.

This time, Emmett didn't laugh.

The whole family was silent, thinking. Then Rosalie asked, "Could we see some of this… this _fanfiction?" _I nearly laughed.

"All right, Rosalie," I said as seriously as I possibly could. "You choose. The pressure's too much for me." Rosalie, not aware that I was struggling to keep a straight face, rose and walked solemnly towards me, face grave. She held out her hands, and I passed her the computer, snorting slightly as my fingers passed over the scratch. Jasper suddenly looked suspiciously innocent.

Rosalie scrolled down the rows of purple titles with a sense of purpose. She murmured to herself their names: "… Abandoned, Last Hope, Single Rose, Jasper's Bad Day, Swan's Beauty, and…" She paused. "This one sounds interesting," she declared. I looked up from gazing at Bella.

"Which one?" She smiled a small, smug smile.

"Notes with the Cullens," she informed me. I suppressed a chuckle.

"And the summary…?" I asked patiently. She paused for a moment, reading.

"Um… 'Alice has invited bella over 4 a sleepovr, and the whole cullen family is pasing notezz! Lots of rosaly action.'" I rolled my eyes, while the rest of my family groaned and moaned in unison. Rosalie just wrinkled her nose, and thought, _… they can't even spell my name! _But nevertheless, I took the computer back from her and clicked on the story, while she went back to join the rest of my anticipating audience. It seemed that I had become some kind of commentator. I cleared my throat, and began to read aloud.

"'Bella: normal typ

Alice: **bold** type

Edward: _italic _type

Rosaly: under lined type

Jasper: _**bold italicized **_type

Emmet: **bold + underlined**tipe

Carlsile: _italicized and underlined type_

**Esme: not here**

at the cullen house –

"hey bella!" Alice squeled as i opened teh door. "join us 4 some" she wrote someting down, adn then looked expactantly up at me, i read it. **note taking **she had wrote

Why I wrote

**becuz**

ok

in teh dining room –

**look bellas here ppl**

_hi love_

hi wats up with, alice?

**i saw that bella**

sry alice. Well edwrad

_she saw it on tv now she wants 2 do it_

oh ok

_hi bella how r u?_

im ok y r u here

_i was forced_

hello bella

hi rosaly

bella get out of here i hate u i never want 2 see u again go away!

**rosly don't b mean**

im not bein mean im being sensibl go away bella i hate u

_rosaly stop it come on –'"_

At this point, I looked up. Rosalie was seething, snarling at me to stop, while Emmett was holding back laughter. Carlisle and Jasper were looking amused at how badly this story was edited, while Alice was looking shocked at her awful reputation as an incredibly hyper shopping freak. I grinned apologetically at them. "You see why this whole 'lives in a book' situation is so awful?" Rosalie growled,

"How _dare _they!" Carlisle smiled serenely behind me, but remained silent as Rosalie continued to rant. "… Placing me in the role of the villain, the cruel, mean, coldhearted, selfish, calculating, wicked, unpleasant, immoral, vile, malevolent, vicious, sinister, despicable, monstrous, destructive, foul, odious, dishonorable, corrupt, demonic, fiendish, diabolical, malignant, bloodthirsty…" she rattled on and on and on, eyes blazing with righteous indignity. Jasper made a noise behind her that sounded suspiciously like a stifled chuckle.

Finally, Alice interrupted her. She seemed to be on quite an interrupting spree today, I mused. "So is there… , or something?" I shrugged, carefully typing in Alice Cullen in the google bar.

"Go see." I passed her the laptop. I saw her eyes widen.

"''…" she murmured, while Rosalie stopped screaming in the background and instead fell completely silent.

"What's it about?" Jasper asked curiously. Alice smiled.

"Well, there's a picture of some people posing to be us – it's quite amusing, actually – and then the words, 'Welcome to , the fansite dedicated to the relationship between Jasper Hale and Alice Cullen' – oooh, that sounds nice – 'from Stephenie Meyer's _Twilight_ series. Here you will all the latest news, images, and other media pertaining to both the characters and the actors portraying them in the upcoming film, Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene. Enjoy your time on the site!'" Alice paused. "Who are Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone?" she asked, confused. Jasper shrugged, staring intently at the screen.

"Maybe the people posing as us?" Alice nodded.

"Maybe. They're not doing a very good job, if you ask me. I mean, just look at the actor's _hair _in that photo!" She averted her eyes from the screen, as if thoroughly disgusted. "Jasper, you must go and tell them that they've gotten your hair wrong. I mean, it'll do terrible things to your reputation if the whole world sees you with a serious case of bedhead. Tell them that…" She droned on and on happily, ignoring Jasper's attempts to interrupt her.

I noticed that Rosalie had gone rather still. Her eyes were wide open, and she was staring unseeingly at the wall and whispering, "You… live… in… a… book…" I shook Alice's shoulder gently.

"Yes?" she snapped, irate at having finally been stopped. I bent my head and whispered to her,

"Erm… I think Rosalie's gone catatonic."

**Not my favorite chapter, but it'll have to do.**

**Being the demanding person I am, I demand, oh, maybe 5 reviews. It's not that much, you people! C'mon – just a little click… it's easy!**

**Just a warning – Chapter 4 might take a while coming, because I can only write it if I'm not devoured by bloodthirsty, seemingly innocent felines first. Ahhhh! :o**

**And… um… review. For Fanfiction's sake. :)**

** - Lord Cullen**


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